


do you remember the fireworks back then?

by eab5c5



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Childhood Memories, Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Angst, Minor Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Polyamory, Rivalry, fluffy ending !!, hopefully humorous, i really tried to be funny i'm sorry fdkjsfhs, most of the characters tagged are just mentioned besides main pairing and markhyuck, tiny angst but it rly shouldn't be much at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:22:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21689806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eab5c5/pseuds/eab5c5
Summary: Jaemin and Renjun compete over everything. From test scores to books read to - the cute new transfer student? Who knew all it would take was one boy from the countryside and his sweet smile to shake their rivalry out of balance.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 17
Kudos: 245
Collections: ’00 FIC FEST: ROUND ONE





	do you remember the fireworks back then?

**Author's Note:**

> #00215
> 
> Yes, this does have a general audience rating but there are one or two scenes that allude to more teen content! Just some dancing and some jokes though, so I thought overall it would be fine to give it a general rating (even with the amount of swearing...not an overt amount, but it's there). Just wanted to let y'all know. dskfhksh Other than that, I hope you enjoy! Rest of the notes are at the end of the story!
> 
> Also, title is from the English translation of Oh My Girl's Remember Me! (Seriously, their best title track, you should give it a listen). I thought it would be fitting for the story and hopefully you'll see why if you read it!

Everything starts like this. 

Seven year old Jaemin is sitting in his new second grade classroom, eyes shining at all the colorful fish on the corkboard by the door. _Our theme this year is underwater_ , the teacher had said, _and everyone has a fish so we can keep track of your achievements_. His was the only pink one, the boy’s favorite color. 

He’s repositioning his notebook and pencils on his desk when there’s a knock at the door. 

“Oh, that must be our new student!” 

The teacher welcomes two newcomers into the room, a tall older man and a small boy trailing nervously behind him. Jaemin’s attention is drawn solely to the boy dressed in a button-up shirt and beige shorts. He has the brightest blue backpack Jaemin has ever seen in his entire life. 

“Everyone, say hi to Renjun. He’ll be joining us from now on.” 

The entire class choruses in greeting except for Jaemin, who’s still distracted by the new boy as he’s directed to sit in the last desk in the front row. He thought to himself, _who is this kid? What is he like? Can we be friends?_ Then Renjun scored the highest on their spelling test later that day, and when his name was added to the achievement board Jaemin was horrified to discover that now there was not just one pink fish, but two. The test he could tolerate, but _two_ pink fish? It was an outrage! 

“Hey, new kid!” 

Jaemin points his small chubby hand in Renjun’s direction before he can reach his father to be picked up. He refuses to be swayed by the other boy’s crooked-tooth smile when he turns around to face him. 

“From now on we’re rivals!” 

“Okay!” 

Renjun had laughed, and that was the beginning. 

Ever since the Two Pink Fish Incident that Jaemin refuses to forget the two boys competed in a friendly rivalry. From academics to sports to friendships and arts – name any subject or concept and the two would find some way to make a competition out of it. 

Examples would include how at age eight they competed to see who could jump the highest off the swings at the playground. It was Jaemin, at the cost of a broken arm and a very stern scolding from his mother as she drove him to the hospital. The only thing that made him feel better was Renjun visiting him in the clinic and signing in his cast with the word ‘winner’ in poorly drawn Sharpie. 

At age nine Jaemin and Renjun both tried out for school baseball, being placed in the same team much to their coach’s chagrin (as they already had quite the reputation for their competitive behavior). Instead of paying attention to the game itself they made a bet to see who could hit more homeruns throughout the entire season. When Renjun had won after the final game Jaemin thought the ice cream they got afterwards was just as sweet as the boy's victorious smile. 

There were many other instances the older they got. The fifth grade art competition, ribbons at the science fair, who could eat an entire box of cereal the quickest without throwing up. 

Instead of flat out having a winner or loser most of their bets and play fights ended up in a tie. Getting the same scores on tests or making the same time in a swim meet, down to the very millisecond (in fact, that’s probably in a world record book somewhere, and depending on when the picture was taken you’d see two very happy boys clinging to each other and smiling with dual gold medals). 

Friends and family alike saw their rivalry as just boys being boys. It was annoying half the time and endearing the other. From ages six to twelve Jaemin and Renjun were considered best friends with competitive streaks that only showed when they were around each other. 

It was normal. Fun, even. Until everything changed. 

At age thirteen the friendly competition turned into scathing remarks and spiteful behavior. One day they were as nice as can be to each other and the next they were acting like sworn enemies out of a storybook. The two boys wouldn’t even look at each other unless it was to exchange glares or mean words, and it would have driven a gap between their shared group of friends had it not been for Lee Donghyuck. The boy who always had a thing for breaking cliches, telling everyone else it would be dumb to start fighting and to let Jaemin and Renjun work it out on their own. 

The friend group stayed, but their soured rivalry never went away. 

It followed them all throughout high school, not once wavering in its intensity. They competed for the highest GPA and for spot as valedictorian. They competed on who could work more volunteer hours or donate blood. They even made a competition out of who could get to class earlier. Ever since they started university it’s been pretty much the same. Test scores, number of credit hours, club activities. Everything is a competition and it will never stop being a competition if they go on like they have. 

No one, not even Donghyuck, who claims the two are actually in love and are just so emotionally constipated that they physically can’t deal with feelings and choose to fight instead, can’t get through to the boys. 

The penny has to drop at some point. The only question now is when? 

“Ready to lose, brush boy?” Jaemin teases while turning the corner into a large crowd gathered in front of the Midterm scoreboard. 

“If anyone’s losing, jockstrap, it’s going to be you.” Renjun responds. His eyes are already searching the board for their test results. While he’s confident in his ability to score high he still hopes there won’t be a repeat of last winter. 

Both of them automatically focus on the right side of the display where the top 25 in their grade are shown. Jaemin and Renjun have never been anywhere below the first two spots. In fact, they’ve tied for first place every single exam except for last winter’s in which Renjun had been sick with a cold that cost him a valuable point. Jaemin has been holding it over his head ever since. 

“Second place, Huang Renjun, ha!” Jaemin croons, reaching up to slap the shorter boy on the shoulder a few times, grinning in victory. “Better luck next time, Huang.” His smug cheerfulness doesn’t last long though as Renjun points to the scoreboard. Confusion is etched on his features, brow furrowed into a small frown. 

“Second place, Huang Renjun _and_ Na Jaemin,” he reads, eyes darting to the slot just above their names. “First place, Lee Jeno.” 

“...who the hell is Lee Jeno?” 

“Haven’t a clue.” 

“I feel like I would have heard of a Lee Jeno by now.” Jaemin continues, and Renjun rolls his eyes. 

“Oh, give it a rest, Na. So you didn’t get first place. Big deal.” 

“I’m not angry! It just doesn’t make any sense,” he huffs, crossing his arms. “Not that you would care Mr. Second Place Winter Exam.” 

“You- Ugh! Just leave me alone.” 

“You leave me alone!” 

“Fine.” 

“Fine!” 

Jaemin sticks his tongue out at Renjun then and stomps away. He has so many better things to do today than deal with the boy who has a stick so far up his ass that he wouldn’t know how to function if it was gone. The thought makes him snort in laughter, and Jaemin almost runs straight into the entry doors of the science building. Right, no more thoughts about Huang Renjun. Jaemin has a first place spot in finals to study for and now a mystery to solve. 

The mystery is none other than who exactly came first in mid-terms. 

“What do you know about Lee Jeno?” 

“Hello to you too, Jaemin.” 

Mark doesn’t even bother looking up from his worksheet, his flashcards neatly laid out before him next to a thoroughly bookmarked copy of Introduction to Business Management. Jaemin still can’t believe that Mark switched majors three years into university so he could become a hotel manager of all things. 

“Hyung,” whines the younger, dropping his bag onto the ground and plopping into the seat next to mark. He lays over the table with his arms sprawled out and it’s only when they brush against Mark’s notes, pushing them out of order, that he finally gives Jaemin the attention that he wants. 

“Okay, okay! Just stop fucking up my system.” 

Next thing he knows Jaemin is sitting up in his seat, head in his hands and batting his eyelashes innocently at the older boy. (Pfft. Na Jaemin, innocent? Lie of the century.) 

“So, Lee Jeno...” 

“What about him?” 

“Do you know him?” 

“I’ve seen him around. We’re in the same advanced accounting course.” Mark’s not even looking at Jaemin anymore as he starts organizing his flashcards again, mumbling terms under his breath while half his brain is focused on the conversation. 

“Accounting?” 

“Yeah, one of his majors is business.” 

“Ew. Well, at least I know he’s not absolutely perfect.” 

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Nothing, nothing. Just that I didn’t expect someone so pretty to have such a boring major like business. Wait, I just- did you say _one_ of his majors?” 

“Yeah? He’s double majoring.” 

“What’s the other?” 

“Uh...performing arts, I think? Pretty sure he mentioned he was a dancer on the first day of class or something, but I had to go through like six different ice breaker activities that day so I honestly clocked out. You could just, I don’t know, ask him?” 

“That would require effort.” Jaemin wrinkles his nose and slumps in his seat. 

Mark regards him with a deadpan expression as if Jaemin is supposed to know what he means by it with his face alone. He returns the gesture with a questioning shrug of his shoulders. 

“Jaemin, you are literally the epitome of effort. Too much effort if you ask me.” 

“Fine. Maybe I’m a little...shy.” 

“Shy. You, the Great Na Jaemin, shy?” Mark snorts and Jaemin slaps him lightly on the arm with a pout. He does it a few more times just for good measure, until Mark is practically falling over trying to get away from him. 

“I can’t help it! Pretty boys make me nervous.” 

“So you’ve seen his face?” 

“Just one picture. I looked through the school’s twitter account to see if he was tagged in anything and saw a picture of him with Donghyuck.” 

“Oh, yeah, Donghyuck gave him a tour of campus like a month ago.” 

“What?” Jaemin squawks, affronted. “And he didn’t bother to introduce me?” 

Mark rolls his eyes, “Actually, he did, but you weren’t paying attention.” 

“That can’t be true. I’d remember a face that pretty.” 

“Even if you were distracted by another pretty face?” 

“Like who? Who could possibly be as pretty as-” 

“Huang Renjun?” 

Jaemin freezes, looking at Mark with wide eyes. 

“What the fuck?” Is the first thing he can say about that. “There is nothing remotely attractive about Huang Renjun. You can’t even put his name and pretty in the same _sentence_ , it’s impossible.” Yet, as the words leave his mouth deep down Jaemin knows it’s not true. Sure, maybe he and Renjun aren’t on the best of terms and maybe seeing the other’s face makes his blood boil immediately, but he can admit from a purely objective point of view that Huang Renjun is handsome. Maybe even good-looking, if Jaemin is feeling nice enough that day. 

Mark regards him with a raised brow before shrugging, “Whatever. You two were fighting again that day, when Donghyuck was giving Jeno a tour,” he pauses and Jaemin nods. “He told you guys to say hello, but you just went right back to bickering with each other. That’s probably why you don’t remember him.” 

“Oh my God.” 

“He probably remembers you though. I mean-” 

“Oh my God! His first impression of me is _that_? I’m ruined.” 

Jaemin suddenly presses his face into Mark’s shoulder and starts overdramatically weeping into it while clinging to the older boy’s arm. He just lets Jaemin stay there while flipping a page in his textbook. When he hears Jaemin sniffle he looks down at the younger. 

“You done crying about it yet?” 

“I’m not crying,” he mumbles, sitting up and pointedly looking away from Mark so he can’t see his face. “Just feeling sorry for myself. How can I ever try to talk to him if _one_ , he’s so pretty and _two_ , the first time he ever saw me I was fighting with Huang?” 

“You’re always fighting with Renjun.” 

“That’s besides the point!” Jaemin wails, facing Mark again and flailing his arms around. 

“No, it _is_ the point,” he says, reaching out to push Jaemin’s arms down so he doesn’t accidentally hit someone (really, so he doesn’t hit Mark again). “You’re always fighting with Renjun, right?” Jaemin nods. “Then that means that’s normal for you, so if you talk to Jeno he’ll just eventually be used to it.” It’s flawed logic by all means, and Jaemin is 90% sure that Mark is grasping at straws for reasons to get Jaemin to leave him alone so he can study, but the younger accepts it anyways because it makes him feel better. 

“You’re right. Maybe I will talk to him!” 

“That’s the spirit,” Mark says, smiling awkwardly and breathing a sigh of relief. At least until Jaemin slaps him on the back and stands up. 

“Thanks, hyung! I’ll talk to you later!” 

“Right,” he wheezes as Jaemin picks his bag up and jogs away. “You go do that.” 

“Hey, Donghyuck, do you know a Lee Jeno?” 

The other grunts, tapping away at his DS and watering his virtual garden while ignoring the large pile of chemistry homework in front of him. ( _“I should have just taken astronomy for my required science, Renjun, why did you let me take chemistry? I’m gonna die!”_ ) 

Renjun kicks him in the leg. 

“Ow, what the fuck, Junnie?” he gripes, rubbing his sore thigh and closing the device. “Yes, I know a Lee Jeno.” _A Lee Jeno_ is said with him making quotation marks in the air, regarding Renjun with an unimpressed expression, like the older is stupid or something. (He’s not. His test scores will attest to that, but still, he doesn’t appreciate the insinuation.) “He transferred this year. I was his sole tour guide, I even introduced you guys.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t remember.” 

“Yes, I’m sure! You even looked right at him, but you were too caught up making heart eyes-” He coughs as Renjun glares at him. “I mean, _competing_ with Jaemin that you probably forgot about it.” 

“I guess...” 

Donghyuck opens his DS again, already sucked back into the game as he keeps speaking, “Why are you asking about him anyways? You’re never curious about other people.” 

“He came first for midterms.” 

Cringing as the younger’s gaming system suddenly drops to the floor – thankfully carpeted – Renjun raises a brow at the overly surprised look directed at him. Gaping like a fish Donghyuck walks on his knees to Renjun and shakes him by the shoulders. 

“You and Jaemin didn’t get first place? You were actually beat by somebody? Oh, my God,” he rambles. “I never thought the day would come. Jaemin and you are, like, destined to be tied above everyone else.” 

“Stop being so dramatic.” 

“It’s true! We’re all little underachievers compared to you guys.” 

Rolling his eyes Renjun shoves the younger boy off of him, brushing away imaginary dirt on his sweater with a scrunched nose. 

“Yeah, well, we both got second this time. It’s honestly not that big of a deal.” 

“Not that big of a deal? First place has been your goal since...since forever!” 

“I know, but I’m not angry or anything. Maybe a little disappointed...” 

“At not getting first?” Immediately after his question Donghyuck comes to a realization. He clasps his hands together in front of his chest and grins. Renjun doesn’t like it, that grin – it means bad things are coming. “Oh em gee, you don’t want _first place_ , you just want to beat _Jaemin_ . That’s totally it! Oh, this is _rich_ , I can’t- I have to tell Mark.” 

Renjun scoffs, “That’s absurd, Donghyuck.” Intending to end the conversation – seriously, it’s ridiculous – he starts closing his textbooks and gathering his notes. In the corner of his eye Donghyuck claps like a seal over the sound of his own laughter. The little demon. 

“Sure, sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.” 

He kicks Donghyuck again just for good measure, carefully shoving everything into his backpack and zipping it up. Donghyuck fake cries while rolling around on the floor, various phrases like _why do you hurt me like this_ and _we’re not friends anymore_ leaving his mouth. Renjun looks up to the ceiling at the boy’s childish antics and hopes for enough strength to keep putting up with him. Then he heads for the door. 

“Walk it off.” he says over his shoulder, Donghyuck no doubt already returning to his game and still ignoring his homework as Renjun leaves. 

The conversation they had plays over in his head as he walks across campus. Renjun, only focusing on Jaemin? _Absurd is right_ , he tells himself. He has so many more important things to do than think about Na Jaemin of all people. In fact, Renjun is of the opinion that if Jaemin ever disappeared and never came back he wouldn’t even notice. He’d be completely fine with it. 

When the art building comes into view all thoughts of demons possessing young boys to terrorize him and one Na Jaemin leave his mind as walks through the double doors and into his makeshift sanctuary of paint and canvas. At least through art he takes out his frustrations on inanimate objects and not other people. (Donghyuck doesn’t count, he deserves it.) 

About a week after midterm results and Donghyuck’s fiftieth “you’re in love with Jaemin” speech Renjun is making the journey to the university cafeteria with heavy feet. He’s somehow managed to avoid thoughts about Jaemin for most of his waking hours, distracted by studying and the curiosity of whoever came in first place. (Don’t be fooled. Jaemin still haunts his dreams, most of the time waving around a test with an A+ while Renjun is holding onto his own graded with an F.) Renjun doesn’t typically eat in the cafeteria. In fact, part of his routine three days a week is to go to the local café between classes and stay there for an hour or so catching up on homework and enjoying a light meal. He’s a little irritated with the change up from his norm, but enters the cafeteria nonetheless. After all, he can’t sit in the café while it’s under renovation for the next month. 

He grabs a tray and goes through the buffet-like setup, picking whatever doesn’t look like it came from an industrial sized bag of freezer food and getting in line to pay as soon as he can. In the end he has half noodles and half vegetables. Renjun doesn’t trust the meat enough to try it. 

When he enters the actual seating area of the cafeteria he realizes he has no idea where to sit. 

If it were a café or a restaurant it would be much easier to find a place to sit, considering someone would guide you to a table meant for you alone. In the cafeteria, however, Renjun has to pick for himself among dozens of tables already housing a large amount of students. He’s lucky to find a table near the corner in the back where no one has sat down yet, and Renjun swoops in to place his bag and tray down. 

He pulls his art history textbook out of his bag along with his notebook and pencils, setting his tray to the side. The noise around him makes it a little hard to focus, but if he tries hard enough he can convince his brain it’s white noise so he can finish reading the rest of his chapter. 

Enough time passes that Renjun has only eaten a quarter of his now cold lunch when someone approaches his table. 

“Excuse me,” says a voice to his right, and he looks up from his textbook to see a boy around his age with a tray in his hand and one backpack strap hanging from his shoulder. He smiles sheepishly at Renjun, eyes crinkling behind his glasses. “Do you mind if I sit here?” 

It takes a moment for Renjun to come out of his stupor. He shakes his head and gestures to the seat across from him, “Go ahead.” 

“Thanks.” 

The boy sits in front of Renun on the other side of the table, dropping his bag on the seat next to him. 

Renjun expects him to start eating and get on with his business, but not a moment later the boy is thrusting his hand across the table. He still smiles when Renjun watches him quizzically. Eventually he takes his hand and shakes it before bringing his own closer to his person. 

“Nice to meet you,” the boy says. “I’m Jeno.” 

“Renjun,” he responds, a little slow on the uptake as the gears in his head start moving. _Where has he heard that name before?_ Then it clicks. “You’re the guy that got first place for midterms, aren’t you?” 

He must not have been expecting the question, ducking his head with a slight blush as Renjun looks at him. 

“I guess, yeah...why?” Now the Jeno boy is facing him again, and he seems...worried? His light brown hair falls in front of his eyes a bit and Renjun thinks the expression makes him look a bit like a dog. No, a puppy. “Is that what other people are saying?” 

“No, no, it’s just that,” _God, this is going to make him sound arrogant._ “Normally I’m in first. I only noticed your name because it wasn’t mine.” And if anyone noticed that Renjun purposely omitted usually sharing the same spot with a certain Na Jaemin it was none of their business. 

“Oh, sorry.” 

“Don’t be. It’s not a bad thing. Humbling, even – I guess I just got so used to it that it was a bit of a shock. I don’t mind.” 

That seems to reassure the boy enough to come out of his hunched stance a little bit, offering Renjun a shy smile now as he starts to eat his food. It’s quiet, but not awkwardly so, and Renjun appreciates the atmosphere a lot more than he would at a noisier table. 

“So...” Jeno speaks again after he’s finished most of his plate, and Renjun indulges him by looking up from his textbook. “If you’re usually in first place you must be pretty smart, yeah?” 

Renjun thinks for a moment and then shrugs, “I suppose. It’s a lot of studying too though. I do try.” 

“I didn’t mean to imply that you don’t!” Jeno says, waving his hands as if to dispel the notion, and Renjun chuckles with an amused smile. “I just, ugh, suck at making small talk.” 

“You do.” Renjun teases, and Jeno’s mouth falls open in faux shock. 

“Did you just-? And here I thought you were a nice person.” He crosses his arms and huffs while turning away, but Renjun can see the smile he’s trying to hold back. Jeno obviously doesn’t mean it. 

“I think you’ll learn very fast that I’m not a nice person. Polite, yes, but never nice.” 

Jeno laughs then and faces Renjun like he was originally. 

“See, now that just sounds like something a nice person would say to convince people that they aren’t nice. I bet you’re a secret softie or something.” 

“Am not,” the older boy scoffs, a smile of his own tugging at the corners of his lips. 

“Are too, and I’m gonna prove it.” 

“Oh? Do tell how exactly you’ll prove anything. I’m all ears.” 

“Well, first I’d need to test my theory.” 

“Mm-hm,” Renjun hums, placing his head in his hand. “And how are you going to do that?” For a moment Jeno’s bashfulness from earlier makes a return. His cheeks tint pink and he avoids Renjun’s eyes before taking a deep breath. 

“By hanging around you more and gathering data?” he says, voice trailing up at the end into a question and Renjun blinks in surprise. 

“Did you just- Was this a ploy for friendship?” 

Jeno laughs now, a little awkward and a little warm, the sound something akin to sweet honey as Renjun listens to it. 

“Maybe. Did it work?” 

Renjun waits to respond, just to watch Jeno squirm in his seat across from him for a little bit. Like his observation from before Renjun still likens him to a puppy. A little overly excited, waiting for the next thing. He thinks he hears a small whine come from the boy before he relents and gives him an answer. 

“I think it did.” 

The smile he gets in return is possibly the brightest Renjun has ever seen in his entire life. 

Coincidentally (or not) something very similar happens to Jaemin a few days later. 

“Mind if I sit here?” 

Jaemin has his head tilted down, one hand gripping the strap to his backpack. He’s not nervous per se – rarely is – but when faced with such a beautiful boy...well, who can blame him? He’s also not exactly here on an innocent agenda. There are plenty of other free tables on any floor of the library, but he chose this one specifically for a reason. 

He barely catches the way the brunette looks up to him until they gesture to the open seat with a smile. 

_Wow_ , Jaemin thinks in awe, _never thought I’d meet an angel in the library_. 

Practically tripping over himself to get into the chair he drops a few things on the table by accident, shoulders slumping sheepishly at the loud noise it creates. A girl from across the room even glares at him, to which Jaemin offers her a placating smile. It doesn’t seem to quell her anger, but at least she looks away. 

When he finally sits down he realizes the boy – angel – has already returned to being absorbed in his studying. That’s fine. Jaemin really did come here to study in the first place. 

He just...got sidetracked. 

It’s been two hours now and Jaemin still hasn’t gotten past the fifth problem on his chemistry homework. He’s frustrated, because it should be easy. Just a review of the concepts he learned in his junior year of high school, but somewhere between biology classes and the freshman filler courses of last year he seems to have forgotten things. 

Making a frustrated noise under his breath he drops his pencil into the dip of his textbook and runs his hand over his face. When he uncovers his eyes the boy across from him is staring. 

Jaemin flushes, “What?” 

“Oh, sorry,” the boy says sheepishly, ducking his head. _No, don’t do that, your eyes are so pretty_ , Jaemin’s monkey brain helpfully supplies. “I didn’t mean to stare. I just noticed you seemed irritated with your, uh, homework.” 

“Oh, yeah,” Jaemin shrugs, glancing back down at the problem. “It’s just...I should know how to solve it by now, considering I’m a chemistry major, but it’s like everything I learned has gone out the window.” 

The boy laughs and nods, “I feel you. You said it’s chemistry? Can I see?” 

Pushing his textbook towards the other Jaemin laughs too and nods. 

“Knock yourself out.” 

The smile he gets from the boy makes him feel like a middle schooler with a crush all over again. He’s literally just met the boy – well, officially met him that is, because Mark said they’d seen each other before, but Jaemin doesn’t remember and wouldn’t put it past Donghyuck to have bribed Mark into messing with him. The point is that Jaemin would certainly remember someone this pretty. The sunlight through the tall library windows shining on light brown hair, and the boy’s long dark lashes fanning over his cheeks as he looks down at the problem. _Yeah_ , he swallows, _pretty_. 

“Here,” Pulled out of his daze by the other’s voice Jaemin turns his attention to the textbook as it’s slid back in front of him, angled so they can both read it. “I think I remember doing something like this in my AP course. You’re supposed to add that number here before you plug it into the equation-” 

“And then round it by two decimal points.” Jaemin finishes, finally remembering what to do, and when he looks up the boy is smiling again. 

“Yeah.” 

“Thank you. I seriously was about to have a meltdown over that.” 

“You’re welcome...uh, I never actually got your name. I’m Jeno.” 

“I know.” 

“I know? I’ve never heard that name before-” 

Jaemin laughs and shakes his head. Not only is Jeno pretty but he’s also _cute_. That is so not fair for Jaemin’s heart. 

“No, I mean, I know your name.” 

Jeno tilts his head, making a confused noise in the back of his throat. 

“You do?” 

“Yeah, on the mid-term scoreboard. Saw you in first place.” _And then stalked my friend’s twitter profile to find a picture of you_ , Jaemin thinks. That part can be left unsaid. 

“Oh. Funny, you’re the second person who’s said that to me.” 

“Really?” 

“Mm-hm. I’m starting to wonder if everyone here knows me as first place or something.” 

Jaemin laughs again, the light blush coloring Jeno’s cheeks showcasing that he’s embarrassed by the notion. 

“Nah, I don’t think so. You shouldn’t worry about it,” Jaemin reassures, then holds his hand over the table. When Jeno takes it he smiles, “I’m Jaemin by the way. Guess I should have said that earlier.” 

“Jaemin does make more sense than I know.” 

Both boys laugh at that. 

“It certainly does. Anyways, sorry for distracting you. You probably have your own homework to finish, and here I am taking up your time.” 

“No! I mean,” Jeno bites his lip. “I don’t mind. It’s kind of nice, not having to sit alone in the library.” He shrinks on himself a little bit, and Jaemin wonders how he makes himself look so impossibly small in the wooden chair. Jeno’s shoulders are definitely broader than his but hunched up in his sweatshirt it doesn’t look like it. 

“Hm, maybe...I know we just met, but how about we do something like study partners?” 

Jeno blinks at him from across the table. 

“Like, meet up and do homework?” 

“Or help each other when we need it. Besides, it doesn’t just have to be studying. You’re new, right? I can show you all the cool places to eat and hang out.” Jaemin grins, and he knows he has Jeno hook, line and sinker when the boy perks up at the mention of food. As they say, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. _Not that Jaemin is aiming for Jeno’s heart! No sir, this is purely a venture into making a new friend and study buddy. That’s all_. 

When Jeno nods Jaemin’s grin is practically megawatt bright. 

“We’d have to come up with a schedule or something,” Jeno says, turning and reaching down into his backpack on the floor, and when he comes back up he’s holding a baby blue planner in his hand. He opens it up to October and looks to Jaemin, smiling softly. “What times work best for you?” 

They go through each day of the week, mentioning offhand when they have classes and when they’re free. Jaemin finds out they’re in the same calculus course together. He just never noticed Jeno because the other boy sat in the very back of the room. They also both have a morning class on Saturdays, and agree to meet up at the university’s Starbucks afterwards. When they’re done marking up Jeno’s planner they have four out of seven days scheduled for meet-ups, and Jaemin feels accomplished. 

The clock strikes 4:30 in the afternoon and he starts packing his things up for his last class of the day. 

“See you on Thursday then?” he asks, hefting his backpack over his shoulder. 

Jeno looks up and nods, smiling with his eyes, “Thursday.” 

Jaemin doesn’t know what inspires him to do it, but as he turns away he lifts his hand to wave and says, rather loudly, “It’s a date!” He laughs and darts out of the library as Jeno makes a choked noise of surprise behind him, and Jaemin is elated. 

Cute boys really do get the best of him. 

University life in the big city is...interesting to say the least. 

Jeno is happy to say that he’s adjusted quite well from the small town mindset he’d grown up with. The size of the campus doesn’t scare him anymore as he gets used to walking around it and remembering all the buildings. It's also kind of nice that there are so many other people, less likely to know everything you do like in the small rural suburb he calls home. 

He does miss his father’s homecooked meals and his mother’s sweet desserts, but battles the homesickness by focusing on his classes and checking off the days until his first break when he can visit them. 

It also helps that he has some new friends too. 

Like Donghyuck, whose energy levels are completely the opposite of Jeno’s every time they meet, but never fails to make him smile. There’s also Mark who usually tags along with them, and Jeno is pretty sure him and Donghyuck are dating. That, or they both have feelings for each other, but haven’t said anything yet. When they’re too busy making heart eyes Jeno usually excuses himself. 

That’s where Jaemin and Renjun come in. 

Ever since their meeting in the library Jeno has been meeting up with Jaemin all around campus. Mostly to study, and sometimes just to hang out. 

Jaemin is funny and well-meaning. He’s flirtatious, and while at first it made Jeno blush as bright as the strawberries in his mother’s garden, over the past couple of weeks he’s gotten used to it enough that he can return Jaemin’s flirting head on. He delights in the way Jaemin will freeze up and cover his face a few moments later. 

Renjun is also funny and nice, but his humor verges more on the insulting kind that Jeno has come to understand is completely fake. Beneath the stand-offish exterior Renjun normally exudes is a boy entirely sweet – he just has trouble showing it. Jeno likes to think he understands considering he too has a hard time getting his emotions across. Maybe that’s why they get along so well. 

He usually meets up with Renjun in the cafeteria or, lately, the older boy’s favorite café. They talk about anything and everything, from astronomy to pop music to – after discussing sexualities one afternoon – even cute boys. 

It’s safe to say that Jeno has become fully used to this new life away from home. 

Er, mostly used to it, because for the past week he’s actually been cramming for a test in his accounting class that he’s sure is going to kick him in the ass, he missed the meeting he had scheduled with his dance professor by accidentally sleeping in and right now he’s so hungry he could probably eat a couch. A weird thought, but one he’s having nonetheless as he attempts to find anywhere to stop and eat late at night. 

He tried to look up directions to a 24/7 store he knows he’s seen somewhere close to campus, but his connection keeps dipping out and the GPS isn’t working. 

His stomach growls at him and he sighs. He’ll just have to find it tomorrow. 

Jeno shuts his phone off and shoves it into his back pocket, walking up the steps leading into the dorm building. He hopes he has at least something tasty in his room. 

At the same time Jeno is lamenting his lack of dinner plans Jaemin exits the elevator onto floor three of the building while Renjun is leaving his dorm to use the bathroom. When they make eye contact both boys stop in the middle of the hallway. The atmosphere is awkward as they regard each other warily. 

Neither of them says anything for a few moments before the silence is broken by two voices speaking at the same time. 

“I talked to Lee Jeno.” 

They stare at each other, disbelief morphing into petulant glares as each of them takes a step back. 

“Oh, yeah?” Jaemin asks, arms crossed in what’s supposed to be an intimidating stance. 

“Yes, and we even had a nice conversation over lunch in the cafeteria.” 

“Well, I had a nice conversation with him over math formulas in the library.” 

“Math formulas?” Renjun snorts. 

“What?” 

Irritation is clear on Jaemin’s features, marring his normally handsome face. Who is anyone kidding? He’s still just as handsome with a frown smearing his mouth and the creases of a furrowed brow on his forehead. 

“You probably bored him to death.” 

“Did not!” Jaemin squawks. “It was a very engaging talk. Obviously not boring since we’ve been meeting up ever since then. Not that you would understand the interesting complexity of math Mr. I-got-second-place-in-calculus.” 

“That was last year!” 

“So?” 

“I was sick! Otherwise I would have aced that test and you know it,” Renjun scoffs. “Besides, I’ve been meeting up with him too. We go to the café together every Monday and Friday for intellectual discussion. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be second place this time when him and I score higher on finals.” 

Jaemin is red in the face and ready to stomp his foot, to say more insults in retaliation that would jab at Renjun’s insecurities and doubts. Ones that he knows so well even though his potential remarks would be wholly untrue. The other boy wouldn’t be Jaemin’s rival if he wasn’t so smart, talented and hard-working. Jaemin can compete with only the best, but he’d die first before letting anyone know that. 

“You-!” 

“Oh, hey guys.” 

Before he can get the words out a warm voice cuts through the tension from behind. Both boys turn to find the very object of their conversation standing in the light of the elevator before it closes. 

“Hi, Jeno!” Jaemin greets a little too enthusiastically, panicking a bit because he doesn’t know how long Jeno has been standing there or how much he’s heard. Suddenly, he’s slinging an arm around Renjun’s shoulders, pulling the other boy close with a forced smile. For a split second Renjun is struggling in his hold, but stops when Jeno draws closer. He attempts a smile that comes out more like a grimace, because although he wants nothing to do with Na Jaemin in his general vicinity he shares the same goal right now. That goal being: don’t make a fool of yourself in front of the pretty boy. 

“Renjun,” he says with a smile, eyes forming into half moons as he turns to the other boy as well. “Jaemin.” The attention makes Jaemin’s heart flip-flop in his chest, and he hears Renjun gulp quietly next to him. “What are you guys doing out here so late?” 

“Oh, um...” 

“The library!” Renjun interjects, slapping Jaemin on the back before he can say anything and laughing awkwardly. “We were going to study.” 

“Yeah,” Jaemin picks up. “And we just happened to, uh, see each other in the hallway?” 

Jeno looks between the two of them, confusion showing on his face as he tilts his head, “Isn’t the library closed today though?” He looks just like a puppy, Renjun observes, his irritation with Jaemin dangerously close to disappearing if Jeno keeps looking at them like that. 

The rivals are panicking again before Jaemin slaps his hand over Renjun’s mouth and grins, all teeth and sunshine. Renjun resists the urge to bite his hand as Jaemin speaks for the both of them in a tone much calmer than the rapid beating of his heart that Renjun can feel through his shirt. 

“Oh, right! How could we forget? We’re so used to studying there that it’s just natural to go to the library.” 

Jeno nods, adjusting his grip on his backpack. 

“Well, I planned on getting some snacks at the convenience store before going back to my dorm to study. Would you, uh,” Reaching up to rub the back of his neck the boy smiles sheepishly. “Like to join me? Since you guys can’t go to the library like you planned and all.” 

Renjun’s already shoving Jaemin’s hand away so he can say no, not wanting to be around Jaemin any longer than he has to. Except Jaemin kicks him in the leg to get him to shut up and answers for the both of them. 

“Sure! We’d love to.” 

Renjun wants to scream, glaring up at Jaemin who returns the expression before Jeno is asking if they’re coming with him, the doors to the elevator sliding open again. Maybe Jeno’s smile as they follow him into the elevator – and his puppy eyes, oh dear God – is enough to make Renjun feel a little better. Just a little, because Jaemin is still right there next to him and he _still_ hasn’t gone to the bathroom. Great. 

Jeno isn’t dumb. 

He can see the obvious tension between Renjun and Jaemin, practically taste it if he tried hard enough. It’s a little strange because separately they seem so nice. He thinks back to his first encounter with Renjun in the cafeteria, where the older smiled amusedly as Jeno tried to initiate very awkward small talk. Then his thoughts jump to his first meeting with Jaemin in the library, how the other seemed embarrassed yet sweet. Maybe they’re polite to everyone else – and certainly kind with Jeno – but not to each other. He has an inkling that it extends beyond the academic rivalry he’s heard about. 

He wonders what it is. 

Right now though the boy is hungry, and with Renjun and Jaemin tagging along with him to the convenience store he doesn’t have to worry about getting lost. 

Which is how Jeno finds himself sitting between two very attractive boys in a 24/7 store when the clock is nearing midnight, blowing the steam from his cup ramen and trying to think of something to say to cut through the awkward atmosphere. Just eating his noodles feels like it would make things worse. 

“So, Renjun,” The boy snaps to attention at Jeno’s right. “Did you pick out your classes for next semester yet?” he asks, digging into his cup and chewing a mouthful of noodles as he waits. Renjun is still mixing the flavor packet into his own cup aimlessly, wooden chopsticks going round and round in circles. His response is so quiet that Jeno almost doesn’t hear it. 

“Yes.” 

“That’s good,” He swallows some broth and smiles, wondering where their easy conversation from the past few weeks has gone. “Any ones you’re looking forward too?” 

“Not really.” Renjun speaks up louder this time, shrugging his shoulders. “They’re mostly filler courses or extensions of the ones I’m already taking. I did sign up for the Art Comp. Club though.” 

“You what?” Jaemin asks suddenly, leaning over the table to stare at Renjun with wide eyes. 

“Signed up for the Art Comp. Club.” 

“I know what you said, I just...” Jaemin bites his lip and settles back in his seat. “Didn’t know clubs were something you joined. 

“Well they are.” 

Both boys look away from each other and Jeno awkwardly sits. He takes another bite of his ramen before turning his attention to Jaemin, hoping to make things less strained. 

“Jaemin?” 

“Yes!” the boy exclaims, sitting up straight all of a sudden before flushing pink, high on his cheeks. “I mean, yes, Jeno?” 

Jeno stares for a few seconds before saying, “Just wanted to know if you were part of any clubs.” 

“Oh, um,” Jaemin rubs at his elbow and then gesticulates vaguely. “Yes and no? I mean, I’m not part of any clubs, but I do play on the basketball team.” 

“Really? Wow, I didn't know. Your major totally doesn't correspond.” 

To his right Renjun snorts quietly, “He’s a total jock. Been playing since middle school.” Interesting, that he knows that. Jeno hums in acknowledgement, swallowing another portion of his ramen because he really did come here to eat. Right as he takes a particularly large mouthful both Renjun and Jaemin decide to ask, “What clubs are you in, Jeno?” _Loudly_. 

He chokes on his noodles for half a second, hunching over and swallowing so he doesn't spit them out. His throat stings from the spices and there are tears in the corners of his eyes as he coughs. Then laughs. Renjun and Jaemin are wearing similar expressions of shock when he looks at both of them which only makes Jeno laugh even more. One of them puts a hand on his back as his coughs fade away. The other hands him some napkins which he takes gratefully, using them to wipe away the broth that's dribbled over his chin. 

“Are you okay?” That's Renjun asking, leaning over to peer up at Jeno as the younger boy nods his head. 

“I'm fine.” 

“Are you sure?” Jaemin now, and looking over Jeno realizes he's the one with his hand on his back, still there. It's warm, but as soon as Jeno's eyes fall onto him Jaemin pulls his hand away like he's been burned. His cheeks are flushed in embarrassment and Jeno smiles. 

“I'm sure. You guys just surprised me is all.” He looks over at Renjun to offer him the same smile. “Anyways, I joined the dance club when I first got here. I'm also thinking about joining the English club,” he shrugs. “Maybe after this semester though.” 

“You speak English?” Jaemin asks. 

Jeno ducks his head, “Not very well.” Throat still stinging from earlier he takes a sip from his water bottle as the conversation lulls. At least now the atmosphere isn't so tense. Jeno no longer feels like he's sitting between two angry bears ready to attack each other. Does that make him the small woodland creature in this analogy? Probably. 

“I know performing arts is one of your majors,” Renjun says. “But doesn't the dance club do more modern stuff?” 

Jeno smiles and nods, “Yeah. I mean, I do all sorts of dancing. Been doing it ever since I was a kid, and when my parents couldn’t afford classes anymore I’d just teach myself. At least now I can learn from actual people.” 

“That’s really cool.” Jaemin's eyes are shining. “You're gonna have, like, recitals and competitions and stuff, right?” 

“Probably.” 

“Can we come watch?” 

Jeno nods again, flushing a bit at how both boys are looking at him – something akin to fondness. He can't help the way his heart beats out of rhythm for a moment while being flustered. _It's just because they're cute_ , he tells himself. _Nothing more_. 

“Sure.” Then he grins and relaxes in his seat. “I’d really like it if you did.” 

After that they see each other everywhere. 

Jeno and Jaemin will be sitting in the university Starbucks together when Renjun walks in. He'll be waved over to their table for two that soon becomes a table for three. There are other times when Renjun and Jeno are walking across campus together, and Jaemin falls into step with them halfway to the canteen. The lines blur between seeing them separately and together for Jeno, but he finds he doesn't mind. As the awkward and tense atmosphere around them starts to disappear every passing day he actually enjoys their combined company. 

"Do you know what this is supposed to mean?" 

"Yeah, hold on. I think I have the definition somewhere in my notes." 

All three of them are sitting in the library together. They're located at a small table, which is currently covered in all of their study materials. So much that Jaemin has his computer in his lap so he can look at his notes. He's trying to get his lab paper done for his chemistry class while Jeno and Renjun are working together on their respective literature assignments. 

"Hey, Jeno," he says, and the boy hums to acknowledge him. "Can you pass me my water bottle?” 

Someone hands it to him, but when he looks up and takes it Jaemin finds the hand attached to it is not Jeno’s but Renjun’s. The older boy doesn’t pay attention to it as he goes right back to working with Jeno, and Jaemin slowly sits back in his seat. 

Huh. 

He glances between both of the boys sitting across from him. Jeno with his soft hair and round glasses, looking every bit the cute nerd from a b-rate teen movie and Jaemin's dreams. Like their first meeting in the library the sunlight coming in through the window highlights his best features, although now it’s much colder outside than it was then. He’s beautiful, and Jaemin is glad he’s so focused on his work right now so he can’t see the way Jaemin is blushing behind his bottle. 

Jaemin plans on returning to his work when his eyes slip over to Renjun as well. 

In the same light he’s never really noticed how sweet the older boy’s features are. The slope of his small nose and the curve of his cheeks, dusted with pink from the chill in their corner spot by the wall. There’s a birthmark on his hand that Jaemin has never noticed before as his fingers turn a page in his textbook and a small part of his brain thinks it’s cute. 

Wait, what? 

Jaemin blinks and frowns to himself, taking a sip of his water thoughtfully. Renjun and cute in the same sentence, together, in his head? The studying must be getting to him. 

“Jaemin?” 

“Hm?” 

He looks up and both Jeno and Renjun are looking at him now. _Two pretty boys_ , his brain unhelpfully supplies, and he’s glad there’s no water in his mouth for him to choke on. Jeno asks him for his notes from last week and Jaemin scrambles to pull them out of his bag. In the corner of his eye he sees Renjun smiling softly at the both of them, almost like he’s unaware he’s even doing it, and Jaemin tries to ignore the way his heart shakes. 

At the same time, when Renjun and Jaemin see each other as usual, thoughts of Jeno interrupt the rivalry that's glued them together for so long. With Jeno added to the equation everything softens around the edges. There's less fighting and more getting along, much to the surprise of everyone around them. 

Renjun is content in his seat listening to the tap-tap-tapping of the keyboard as he reads his textbook. It’s quiet and cozy in the back of the café which smells like warm cinnamon as it gets closer to the holidays. 

When he looks up it’s like he’s slowly coming out of a dream. 

Jaemin is sitting across from him at the table, and when he looks around he realizes it’s just the two of them in their little corner. Jeno had been with them earlier but he must have left at some point. Thinking about it now Renjun remembers Jeno’s soft voice in his ear telling him he had to go to class. He’d been so absorbed in his reading at that point that he didn’t remember it. Now it’s just him and Jaemin together. 

His gaze slides over to the other boy still busy typing away at whatever it is stealing his attention. He’s frowning a little in focus and the expression makes Renjun’s heart beat in fondness. Which is strange because a few months ago any expression on Jaemin’s face would have made him feel sick to his stomach. 

If he _really_ thinks about it he doesn’t mind being alone with Jaemin anymore. 

Right now, in this moment, Renjun is feeling comfortable and - dare he admit it in Jaemin’s presence - happy. Not that he wasn’t happy to begin with, but it just wasn’t something he usually felt when it came to the other boy. 

“Renjun?” 

“Huh?” 

Pulled out of his thoughts by Jaemin’s voice Renjun realizes he’s been caught staring. 

“You alright?” 

There’s concern in Jaemin’s eyes, and it’s so foreign yet familiar that it throws Renjun off a bit. He can feel the warmth of his own cheeks and it’s not just from the heated interior of the café. The older boy smiles a little and nods. 

“Fine, just thinking.” 

Jaemin smiles too, small, but there, before looking back down to his laptop. 

Renjun sips his coffee and lets his worried realizations slip away. He can deal with them later, because right now the warmth and easy atmosphere is something he’d take over fights and tense silences any day. 

None of them even realize what’s happening until friends start pointing it out. 

Donghyuck is the first to notice. 

“What the fuck?” 

Standing in the doorway with his backpack off his shoulder the boy gapes at the sight before him. Renjun looks up from his textbook, making sure not to jostle Jaemin who’s leaning against him sleepily. His basketball practice had worn him out earlier. 

“Shh.” he hisses, Jaemin snuffling against his shoulder. 

Donghyuck walks further into the room and gently drops his bag onto the desk, standing before the bed with his mouth still open. 

“What the fuck?” he whisper yells this time, gesturing to both boys laying on top of the comforter. Slouching would be a better word for it. Renjun had been sitting up earlier, but over time he must have sunk further into the pillows while reading about the history of the Renaissance. 

He raises a brow at Donghyuck. 

“You’re gonna catch flies if you keep your mouth open like that,” he says, bookmarking his page and closing the textbook the same time Donghyuck’s lips seal shut. “And what are you freaking out for?” 

“You! Him! Together!” 

Renjun glances down at the top of Jaemin’s head and back up to Donghyuck. He shrugs his free shoulder, still confused. 

“I don’t know what’s got you all worked up, but don’t wake him. He needs his rest.” 

The younger boy’s mouth falls open once more and he throws his hands up in the air. Like a fish his mouth opens and closes repeatedly. Then he drops himself into the chair at the desk. He takes his phone out of his pocket and starts furiously typing. 

“What are you doing?” Renjun asks, trailing off with a yawn. Maybe he should take a nap too. 

“Texting Mark.” 

“Why the fuck are you texting Mark?” 

“Gotta make sure he knows I love him because the world is ending.” 

“Oh, you finally confessed to him? Also, the world is not ending, Hyuck.” 

Donghyuck frustratingly gestures to him and Jaemin again, arms flailing as he goes a little red in the face. 

“I still don’t know what you mean.” 

“What I mean-!” he almost yells, but when Renjun glares he quiets down, whispering with the same intensity. “What I mean is that the world must be ending for you and Jaemin to be in the same room and not yelling at each other. You’re even sharing a bed, _your_ bed, Renjun. You don’t even let _me_ on your bed.” 

“Jeno’s been on my bed before,” Renjun says, although his cheeks are a little flushed now as he can kind of see where Donghyuck is coming from. “Anyways, he just needed to rest. I’m not cruel, Donghyuck. I wouldn’t say no-” 

“You would have three months ago.” 

“I just said I’m not cruel-” 

“I’m not saying you’d force him out. You’d have made him sleep in my bed, or even go all the way back to his own dorm even though you know it’s on the other side of campus. Except here he is, on your bed. He’s fucking cuddling you.” 

“We are not cuddling,” Renjun hisses, the blush on his cheeks extending down his neck now and painting the tips of his ears pink. 

"Really? Then explain why he's holding onto your arm like a teddy bear." 

"I don't fucking know. Maybe it just helps him sleep better." 

"Uh-huh, or maybe he just wants to be close to you-" 

“Shut up.” 

“Maybe he wants to hug you and-” 

“ _Shut up_.” 

“Maybe you want to hug him too and maybe you like him-” 

“Donghyuck, shut up!” 

Renjun is as red a cherry as Donghyuck stops mid-rant after his outburst. Beside him Jaemin starts to come awake and now he really glares at the younger boy standing next to the bed. 

“Renjun?” Jaemin asks, still sleepy as he lifts his head a little. Before he can notice Donghyuck the other boy slips out of the room to leave them alone. Turning his head to look down at Jaemin all of Renjun’s thoughts about his chat with Donghyuck earlier go away, and he tries not to jostle the younger as he moves his arms. 

“Hey, sorry. Donghyuck was being a little shit,” he says, yawning a little. “You can go back to sleep if you want.” 

“Mm...wait, what time is it?” 

“Uh...six in the afternoon, I think.” 

“Crap, I have a paper in my online class.” 

Jaemin wakes up further and starts to remove himself from Renjun’s side, to which Renjun tries to ignore how cold he feels once he’s gone. He watches Jaemin put his bag together and close his textbooks before standing. Now that they’re both awake and conscious awkwardness settles over the pair. Renjun remembers what Donghyuck said earlier, _maybe you want to hug him too and maybe you like him_. He shakes his head and offers Jaemin an awkward half-smile. 

“Good luck on your, uh, paper.” 

“Oh, right...thanks.” 

They stand for a few more seconds. 

“I’m gonna go now.” 

“Right. See you later.” 

Jaemin leaves the room and Donghyuck comes back ten minutes later to find Renjun reading the same textbook from earlier. Neither of them say anything, Renjun purposely ignoring the younger as he reads the same paragraph for the fifth time. 

He reads it another ten and by the time he’s practically memorized it he’s convinced himself that Donghyuck is a liar and there’s nothing going on between him and Jaemin. 

Nothing at all. 

Until someone else points it out too. 

“Since when do you go to basketball games?” YangYang slides into the seat next to him and Renjun shrugs, eyes glued to the court below as Jaemin dribbles through the other team's defense. YangYang was a friend of a friend who Renjun met in the International Students Club after Jeno convinced him to join. They got along pretty well with similar personalities, and together they were pretty much the only thing Donghyuck was scared of (besides confessing to Mark Lee, which he hadn’t done by the way – Renjun wonders what he texted him that day he found him and Jaemin in his bed). 

“Uh,” Renjun is half-focusing on his response as he watches Jaemin shoot a three-pointer and miss. “Since always.” YangYang chews his popcorn obnoxiously. 

“Uh, no? When we first met I asked if you liked any sports and you told me, 'no, YangYang, sports were created by the government to test who's the most physically capable for alien testing through rigorous training and competition so they can be kidnapped by men in black suits and-'”. 

“Shh!” 

Jaemin has the ball again and Renjun sits on the edge of his seat as he tries for another basket, performing a layup when the other team isn't fast enough to stop him. He gets the point and everyone cheers, including Renjun who jumps up from his seat. He blinks and realizes Jaemin is looking up at him in the bleachers and giving him a victorious grin, to which Renjun flushes and sits back down as the game continues, one quarter left. 

“Jeez, you've really gone and written your own teen romance novel.” 

“What are you even talking about?” Renjun asks, finally looking over at the unnatural ginger who shrugs and smirks. 

“I mean, here you are, blushing like a schoolgirl because of your “rival” and showing up to his basketball games even though you hate sports. Sounds like an enemies to lovers if you ask me.” 

Renjun flushes, looking away immediately, “Well, no one asked you.” Embarrassment and unease swim in his stomach. Thinking about it...he really didn't realize until now how much everything has changed. Just a few months ago he loathed the thought of being within three feet of Jaemin. Now he calls him by his first name instead of just his family name. When did that happen? He thinks about how lately he’s been meeting Jaemin for coffee or to study together and Jeno isn't always there to tie them together. But even without Jeno they've been getting along, and Renjun can't even remember the last time he'd exchanged anything less than pleasant conversation with Jaemin. “Holy shit.” 

“And he realizes.” 

“Shut up, YangYang.” 

“Hey! That's no way to treat the guy who just got you to realize your gay ass feelings. Don't even get me started on him,” he says, nodding to another area of the bleachers, and Renjun looks over to see – surprise, surprise – Jeno waving and making his way over to them. 

“You’re not implying…?” 

“Oh, I’m implying big time.” 

“I can't-“ 

“Be in love with two people?” _Woah, woah, wait – who said anything about being in love?_ “Sure you can,” YangYang barrels on, not realizing how much he's already messed up Renjun's internal thoughts. “It’s 2019, thrupples aren't a big deal.” 

“What the hell is a thrupple?” 

“A three person couple?” 

_Couple._ Involuntarily that word already has Renjun imagining things. Like holding Jeno's hand or being able to kiss him on the cheek, whenever he wants. Being able to _be_ together. It doesn't take long for his brain to come up with images of the same scenario, only now Jaemin is there too, much to Renjun's horror. _He can't-_

“No.” 

“What?” 

“Nothing, just- Don't you have somewhere to be, YangYang? Look, Kunhang's making a fool of himself by the exit and Dejun looks ready to kill him.” 

“Oh, shit! Right, see you later, Renjun!” 

As soon as he scrambles out of his seat and trips down the stairs, someone else sits next to Renjun. He looks over to see Jeno smiling. 

“What was that about?” he asks, offering Renjun some of his candy. 

“Nothing,” he swallows. “Nothing at all.” 

For the rest of the game he can't focus, too aware of Jeno's thigh pressed against his, of Jaemin's eyes searching for him every time he makes a basket. _He's so fucked._

For Jaemin it goes pretty much the same way, only you could say Mark is a little more tactful than Donghyuck. He invites Jaemin out for lunch and the younger takes him up on the offer because it’s always easier to eat out when someone else is paying for you. 

Maybe that’s why Mark waits until he has a mouthful of pasta halfway chewed to pop the question. 

“Do you like Renjun?” 

Jaemin coughs, but at least he doesn’t choke like Jeno did at the convenience store. He glares at Mark from across the table as he swallows half his food. The rest of it falls back into his plate and Mark wrinkles his nose at him. Jaemin has the decency to wipe his mouth – he can be a good friend, dammit – before finally having enough breath to retaliate. 

“What?” he asks dumbly. Mark rolls his eyes. 

“I asked if you like Renjun.” 

“Why would I like Renjun?” 

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you.” 

“The answer is obviously no. Duh. Did the whole we-can't-stand-being-in-the-same-room thing go over your head?” Jaemin takes another bite of his pasta, as if it’ll get him out of the conversation. He doesn’t get why Mark is asking anyways. Nothing’s changed between him and Renjun, at least that he knows of. 

“Have you seen your Twitter lately?” 

“It’s my Twitter, hyung, of course I have.” 

“Jaemin,” he says, exasperated. “Your header is a picture of you with Jeno and Renjun.” 

“So? I actually like Jeno.” 

“Your entire gallery for the past month has Renjun in it like 90% of the time. You even have him in your icon, Jaemin. You probably tag him five times a day.” 

Jaemin slowly lowers his fork to his bowl and furrows his brow. Well, when Mark puts it like that... 

“Still doesn’t explain why you think I like him. That’s just, what’s the word...preposterous. If anything I like Jeno. He’s cute, and nice.” 

“Okay, sure, you like Jeno. Anyone within a five mile radius can see that. Anyone within a five hundred mile radius can see you like Renjun too. When was the last time you guys actually had an argument?” 

“Easy, it was...um, it was...” Jaemin racks his brain while trying to remember, but after half a minute goes by he’s forced to realize that he can’t come up with an answer. It must have been a few months ago, and that in itself is a shock to him because it used to be every few days that they had a fight. Now he can’t even remember the last rude thing he’s said to Huang Renjun’s face? Alarm bells are going off in his head and he eats more of his food to distract himself. 

Mark doesn’t ask him about it for the rest of the night, shifting conversation when he sees how uncomfortable Jaemin is. The younger is thankful for it and by the end of their dinner he doesn’t even remember the conversation. 

Then his senior brings it up while they’re working on a chemistry project together. Jung Jaehyun is not someone Jaemin knows personally, but he knows him well enough through being in the same course for the past two or so months. He’s funny and someone Jaemin really respects and looks up to. 

Renjun has just dropped off Jaemin’s textbook for him after he accidentally left it at his dorm a few days prior. 

“I thought that Jeno kid was your boyfriend?” Jaehyun asks to his right once Renjun has left the room. Both of them have their hands busy with a titration experiment, and Jaemin almost loses his grip on the small beaker in his hand. 

“Hu- What?” 

“On second thought,” the older continues. “That boy who just walked in could be too. How does that work then? All three of you?” 

“I’m- What?” Jaemin's eyes are the size of teacup saucers as he gapes at his senior. “I’m not, I'm not dating anyone.” he says, ignoring the uncomfortable tightening his chest at the insinuation. 

“Oh, really? Sorry, I just assumed with the way you looked at them and all.” 

Jaemin swallows, “Looked at them?” 

“Yeah, like you were in love or something.” 

_Like you were in love or something._

For the rest of the time they’re together Jaemin can’t get the thought out of his head. Sure, when he’d first met Jeno – officially, not the yelling match Jaemin was having with Renjun when Donghyuck attempted to introduce them – he could already feel the beginnings of a crush. He even said so in front of Mark at dinner. It was easy, because Jaemin could admit that Jeno was cute and sweet and attractive. What was harder to wrap his head around was the assumption that he thought the same about Renjun. 

Part of him thinks he could like Renjun like _that_ – a very small part that maybe he already does, but a larger part of him is ready to deny the whole thing. There’s absolutely no way he could like Huang Renjun of all people. It’s too out of left field for him to comprehend. Renjun is arrogant (no), stuck-up (not) and gets on his nerves (less and less lately, virtually nonexistent). 

When Jeno and Renjun pick him up at the entrance of the science building after Jaehyun has already left he swallows all the words from the senior and can’t look Renjun in the eyes for the entire night. 

Somehow, after those encounters, Renjun and Jaemin make it their mission to ignore whatever feelings they’ve come to realize. The old “if I don’t think about it, it doesn’t exist” trick that isn’t really a trick because it doesn’t actually work, but they pretend it does. It also comes with the consequence of them both focusing on their affection for a certain angel with puppy eyes that still hasn’t asked about whatever is going on between them. 

The atmosphere when all three are together goes from comfortable back to awkward in an instant when Jaemin kisses Jeno on the cheek with more seriousness than his usual flirting. Or when Renjun slips an arm around his waist and doesn’t let go for far too long. 

It's like a diluted version of their original rivalry has come back, only this time it’s about Jeno with him stuck in the middle of both boys. Sometimes he imagines them like peacocks, strutting about to try and get his attention. It doesn’t help make the situation any less uncomfortable, and Jeno is often stuck cursing his inability to confront such emotions. 

He talks to his older brother about it one day when he’s visiting home for mid-fall break. 

“Hyung, what’s your opinion on polyamory?” Jeno is laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling still covered in old space stickers from when he was a kid. His brother’s bed is on the other side of the room even though he doesn’t live at home anymore. It’s always welcome for him when he comes back to visit. He’s sitting at the desk and going over some papers that Jeno assumes are from his work at the office. 

“Polyamory? Why are you asking?” 

“No particular reason,” Jeno says, lying through his teeth. _Totally not because I think I’m in love with two cute boys instead of just one_. 

“Well,” Doyoung takes his glasses off and places them on the desk. “I personally don’t see anything wrong with it. I actually have some friends who are in a four person relationship. At first I didn’t understand how it worked, but it’s like any monogamous relationship. Communication is key,” he pauses and Jeno hears some shuffling next to him before a weight settles on his mattress. He doesn’t have to look over to know the older is sitting on his bed now. “As long as everyone loves each other and makes sure not to keep secrets I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.” 

That alone makes Jeno’s heart settle. 

“Why do you ask?” 

His pulse skyrockets again, this time for another reason as he avoids Doyoung’s eyes. Suddenly there’s a very interesting spot on the wall. 

“Uh, no reason,” he says, laughing in a high-pitched voice. “No reason at all.” 

“Are you sure? You can trust me, Jeno.” 

“I…” A few seconds pass and Jeno breathes in deeply, already feeling himself relenting as the older places a hand on his arm, squeezing it gently. “Promise you won’t tell anyone?” 

“I promise.” 

Jeno turns over to finally face him. He tugs on Doyoung’s wrist to get the older to lay down with him and the words just start flowing out. It’s like a bursting dam. Once he starts he can’t stop, retelling his very first meeting with Renjun and Jaemin all the way up to now, where he’d thought things had been getting better but now they’re just weird. How he still hasn’t said anything about liking them back even when they make it so clear in their intentions. 

“How do you get yourself into these kinds of situations?” Doyoung asks once he’s done, hugging Jeno firmly as the younger buries his face into his shoulder. 

“I don’t know.” 

They both laugh and Doyoung rubs his back. 

“I think that there’s definitely a possibility of things working out,” Jeno waits quietly when the older pauses again. “But, I think Jaemin and Renjun have some things they need to work out on their own. You said they’ve known each other for a long time, right?” Jeno nods. “It sounds like whatever happened in the past is coming back again. Whatever it is, it needs to be taken care of before anyone tries to enter a relationship of any kind. I’m not trying to tell you what to do-” 

“I know. I appreciate it, hyung.” 

“You’ll let me know if anything happens, right?” 

Jeno nods again. 

“And if you experience your first heartbreak I’ll make them both wish they’d never been born.” Jeno laughs again and gently slaps him on the arm as Doyoung kisses the top of his head. 

“I know, hyung. Thank you.” 

“Any time.” 

Even after the emotional discussion with his brother, when Jeno returns to classes he still doesn’t say anything. He thinks that maybe if he waits a little bit longer things will work out on their own. 

Oh, how wrong he was. 

Donghyuck is the one to suggest they all go clubbing together. Jeno has never been to a club in his life, and Jaemin and Renjun, while having been before, don’t seem to be fully on board with the idea either. They’ve all been dancing around each other lately and it’s obvious that Donghyuck’s party plans are an intervention. Donghyuck has been and always will be good at getting people to do what he wants, and that’s how they somehow find themselves clustered together with the rest of their friend group in the back of a club just downtown late Saturday night. 

Finals are approaching and they really should be studying, but a break is what they all needed (at least, that was Donghyuck’s motivation to get them all to agree). Mark and Donghyuck have already disappeared somewhere in the crowd though, leaving Jeno with Jaemin and Renjun at the table. 

“It’s loud.” he says, and Jaemin asks him to speak up because of the music. “I said it’s loud!” Jaemin laughs and Renjun’s expression turns sour. 

“The food sucks.” Renjun says, pushing the plastic tray of fries to the middle of the table. 

“Then don’t eat it?” Jaemin asks sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Then he turns to Jeno and smiles at him sweetly. His cheeks are painted in blush from the drink they’ve all been having. It’s Jeno’s first time drinking alcohol outside of family parties and he’s a little out of it. Okay, a lot out of it. “Hey, hey, Jeno,” Jaemin pokes his arm and takes him by the hand. “Let’s dance.” 

“Okay.” Jeno just smiles and nods because his brain is telling him to go with the flow. Everything is a little too warm and a little too loud, but Jaemin helps ground him. 

Jaemin is pulling him up from his seat when Renjun comes around to his other side. He takes Jeno by his left arm while Jaemin keeps hold of his right and he’s stuck in the middle like always. Jeno isn’t sure how they get from the table to the dance floor. All he knows is that one second he’s just standing there and the next he’s pressed between Renjun and Jaemin in a crowd full of strangers. 

They’re closer than ever before. 

His back is touching Jaemin’s chest and Renjun’s face is hidden somewhere in the crook of his neck, Jeno’s head resting back on Jaemin’s shoulder while one arm is wrapped loosely around Renjun’s neck. A tangle of limbs and breath, the same bassline pumping through their three hearts simultaneously. 

Jeno likes the heat. Likes the two of them being so close to him and he _wishes_ one of them would just say something. They’re _right there_ but not in the way he wants them to be. 

The alcohol running through his veins has him opening his mouth. Nothing comes out, because Renjun is so close. Very close, lips-could-be-touching-close, only Jaemin jostles them and Jeno leans sideways with the movement and it’s Jaemin and Renjun who are close. Close enough that Jeno jolts when they pull apart suddenly. 

“Bathroom,” Renjun mutters, extricating himself from the other two boys and getting lost in the crowd. 

“Where’s Jun going?” Jeno asks, mind still hazy and unable to process anything properly. Behind him Jaemin has gone still before moving to his side, slipping his hand into Jeno’s and pulling him until they’re back to the table. He seems a lot more stable than the older boy. 

When they finally see Renjun come back Jaemin lets go of his hand, and Jeno wonders why it feels so empty. 

The night ends when Donghyuck and Mark return to the table half an hour later to find the three boys sitting awkwardly apart from each other. None of them have said anything since leaving the dance floor. Donghyuck takes it upon himself to wrangle Jaemin and Renjun to their respective dorms while Mark helps guide Jeno to their shared one. 

By the time he’s laying in bed Jeno has regained some of the functionality of his brain and swallows around the bad taste in his mouth. 

He goes to sleep that night feeling uneasy, and hopes it’ll go away in the morning. 

Ever since the incident at the club they’ve been stuck at the tipping point. More awkward, more uncomfortable. Less getting along and more clipped remarks. Like before Jeno finds himself hanging out with Renjun and Jaemin separately. Getting all three of them together now feels like pulling teeth, and he’s getting tired of it in all honesty. 

It’s movie night, which has become a regular occurrence now (or was until the last couple of weeks). All three boys will meet up in Jaemin’s dorm since his roommate goes home every weekend. Jeno will pick out a movie while Renjun makes the popcorn and they’ll all squish together on the tiny lopsided couch in front of the television. Normally they watch the movie and say their goodbyes, or they watch the movie and end up falling asleep on each other. 

Normally no one is yelling at each other with one of them stuck in the middle of it all. 

“What’s your problem?” Jaemin yells from one end of the coffee table. 

“My problem? I don’t have one! It’s clearly you that has a problem.” Renjun volleys back from the other side. Both boys are red in the face, regarding each other with heated glares. Expressions that they haven’t worn in months. Everything they’ve been keeping bottled up, simmering and bubbling after weeks of tension and whatever happened that night at the club, has finally blown its top, exploding in the quiet dorm room. 

“Oh, you think it’s me? Is your ego so big that you can’t even realize all your own flaws?” 

“That’s rich coming from the boy who can’t go five seconds without talking about how supposedly great he is.” 

Jeno is beside himself on the couch. The movie hasn’t even started, the play button highlighted as the screen loops over and over again. How did it turn out like this? 

“Sounds like you, you arrogant fucking prick!” 

“Right back at you hypocrite!” 

“Enough!” 

Both boys freeze and the yelling comes to an immediate halt. Two pairs of surprised eyes land on Jeno who’s standing now, hands fisted at his sides. 

“This was supposed to be a nice evening,” he starts, an emotional waver in his voice. “I thought you two were over this...this petty rivalry!” 

“Jeno...” 

Jaemin reaches out to take the brunette’s hand in his but he pulls away. His face is burning and, God, he doesn’t want to hurt them. Doesn’t want to stick his nose in their business where it clearly doesn’t belong, but it’s just like his brother said. In the end nothing will work out if Jaemin and Renjun don’t stop clinging to whatever it is keeping them apart, and Jeno doesn’t deserve to be in the middle of it. 

“No, listen, both of you. I’m not some sort of competition, okay? I’m not a prize to be won so you can rub it in each other’s faces-” 

“We don’t think you’re a competition, Jeno-” 

He makes a motion for Renjun to be quiet with his hand, shaking his head. 

“Maybe you didn’t mean to. Maybe it was subconscious, but both of you have been treating this like some sort of race for my affection.” Jeno sighs, running a hand over his face. “And I...I do like you two, I do, but you need to get your heads out of your asses and realize you like each other as well. Or at least that your rivalry hasn’t even been real for the past three months.” 

Silence falls over the room, punctuated only by their harsh breathing, and then interrupted by Renjun once more. 

“You’re not just a prize.” he says softly, still ignoring the elephant in the room. 

“I,” Jaemin pauses, looking at Renjun and back to Jeno. The heat from earlier has started to dissipate, leaving behind an uncomfortable feeling of guilt for all three of them. “We like you too, okay? He’s right. You’re not just some sort of competition.” 

“I know, I know.” 

Rubbing his neck with one hand now Jeno steps away from the couch and around the coffee table, stopping next to the television near the doorway. He takes a deep breath and calls on his brother’s advice because he’s never been good with emotions. _Communication_ , he reminds himself. 

“I kinda want to punch you and kiss you both at the same time right now,” he says, finding the words easier to say once he starts letting them out. “But I think we all need a breather. Just...if you guys feel the same, come find me when you’ve worked everything out, yeah?” Both boys just nod instead of saying anything, and with one last glance Jeno is walking out the door, heart heavy in his chest. 

The TV plays the same opening sequence for the hundredth time. 

Three weeks have gone by without any of them speaking to each other. Jaemin has taken to drowning himself in his studies like he used to, but something feels empty in it. Like his heart isn’t keeping up with the demands of his brain anymore. 

He misses Jeno, who he sees around campus. Like a ghost, slipping around corners or into classrooms just before Jaemin can reach him. He doesn’t even try, because he’s been given an ultimatum. Talk to Renjun first. 

He’s been avoiding Renjun too. 

Everyday they’ve gone without talking is another day that makes him miss him even more, which he finally dares to admit. _Na Jaemin misses Huang Renjun_ , his heart screams from the rooftop of his brain. 

Maybe that’s how he eventually finds himself in the student art gallery. 

Jaemin doesn’t normally go to these kinds of things. In the past when he wasn’t studying or shooting hoops he’d spend most of his time at home. Yet, here he is, standing in front of the clear glass doors into a room full of white walls covered in art. 

It’s just before closing, and the small room is populated by a single volunteer receptionist. 

“We close in 30 minutes,” she says when he walks in. Jaemin just bows his head to her, swiping an information packet from the desk and stepping into a corner of the room. He flips through the pages until a familiar name shows up. 

**Huang Renjun**

**Works 14-21 (Back Wall)**

**Collection Title: Acceptance**

**See Page 17 for notes**

Looking up he realizes he’s standing at the left wall, and makes his way towards the back. 

A line of several paintings are hanging up, each with varying orientations and sizes, all of them with descriptions attached to the side. Jaemin takes a breath in. He plans on reading every single one, even if it takes him till after closing time. 

He stands in front of the first painting, about the same dimensions as a piece of paper and twice the size. The entire canvas is washed in varying shades of dark blue, save for a single fish near the top right corner. It’s the brightest object in the painting, and when Jaemin looks close enough he can see that it’s colored in pink. 

The painting is titled _New Kid_ , and Jaemin’s memories take him back to an elementary classroom at the beginning of the school year. He doesn’t dwell on them long, but smiles a little remembering them. 

He moves onto the second painting then, and the third. The pictures that follow are of various objects and subjects: a volcano with peppermints and lollipops exploding out of it, a neon green cast with familiar handwriting on the side, a bat and baseball against the backdrop of a chain link fence with the brightest orange sunset painted behind it. 

The further he moves along the wall the more it settles in that Jaemin knows what each other these paintings are for without even reading the descriptions. It’s especially driven home when he stops at the sixth frame. 

It’s the most colorful of all the pieces. The sun is just starting to set, painting the sky in pastel hues of rainbow, while the bright neon colors of a carnival in full swing are standing in front of it. He recognizes the exact ferris wheel in the picture as the one that visits his hometown every summer. _Their_ hometown. There’s a tiny part of the painting, so small you wouldn’t even notice unless you were looking for it, but Jaemin’s eyes are drawn to the entrance of the carnival. 

He sees a small figure standing in front of it and his heart aches. 

He swallows the emotions filling his chest and prepares himself to finish looking over the rest of the collection when he hears footsteps behind him. Jaemin turns, expecting to see the receptionist and is ready to ask her for just five more minutes, but it’s not the girl. 

It’s Renjun. 

He looks equally as surprised to see Jaemin, freezing in his spot as they stare at each other. 

Jaemin is the first to break the silence. He clears his throat and raises his hand to wave, “Hey.” He can’t help but let his eyes wander over Renjun. After all, he hasn’t seen the other boy for a few weeks. It’s colder now, so he’s dressed in a thick peacoat with a beanie on his head. It even has a puffball on the end. Renjun’s cheeks are stained red from the cold air outside and Jaemin thinks he’s finally accepted wanting to kiss the boy. 

He doesn’t. 

“Hey...” Renjun finally responds. “What are you doing here?” 

“I was, um,” Jaemin scuffs his shoe against the floor before gesturing to the collection behind him. “I heard you submitted some pieces to the gallery and I wanted to see them.” It falls silent again as neither of them say anything. Eventually Renjun clears his throat and Jaemin looks up from where he’d been staring at the floor. 

“Did you like them?” he asks, voice guarded as he eyes the collection of paintings against the wall. Jaemin nods immediately. 

“Yeah. They’re really good. I actually haven’t finished looking, I was just on-” he swallows. “The one about the carnival.” 

“Oh...” 

Another silence falls over the room as they both look away from each other. 

Renjun speaks up again, “Why didn’t yo-” 

“Excuse me, we’re closed now.” The girl from the desk at the front of the room is standing a few feet away from them with her arms crossed. Her annoyed expression is enough to have both boys apologize before slipping out of the gallery together. They stand outside for a few minutes until the lights shut off and the girl leaves the building, locking it and walking away. 

The sun is setting in the mid-fall sky and they stand under the light of a harsh lamp attached to the outside of the building. 

“What were you saying earlier?” Jaemin asks. He keeps his eyes turned away, looking across the campus with his hands in his jacket pockets. The pamphlet from the gallery is rolled up and crushed in his back pocket. He hears Renjun clear his throat and tries to ignore the nervous beating of his heart. 

“Why didn’t you come to the carnival back then?” 

“...what?” 

After the question it becomes so quiet you could hear a pin drop. 

The memories immediately come rushing back. Jaemin finds himself looking through the eyes of his thirteen year old self. Muffled in the background is the sound of laughter and the mechanics of cheap fair rides. 

Na Jaemin is waiting for Huang Renjun to meet him at the carnival entrance for a...date? No, a meet-up, but maybe he wants it to be a date in his middle-school heart. Or the equivalent of a date to a thirteen year old boy who may or may not have a crush on the kid whose smile has blinded him since second grade. 

The memories fast forward, and one Na Jaemin has been standing in the same spot for three hours. It’s dark now and the carnival is lit up and Renjun never showed. 

“You must be confused,” he says, coming out of the memory with a bitter taste on his tongue. “I was waiting for you to show up for hours. You’re the one that didn’t come.” 

At his response Renjun has a similar memory of the same day. 

Standing at the entrance of the carnival, waiting for a boy he has confused feelings for. Breathing in the smell of fried food and engine grease. Ignoring the stares of everyone walking in and out of the gate while he just stands there. 

Hours, waiting, and no one shows up. 

“No, I clearly remember being there for over four hours, waiting for you to get there.” 

“I waited for over five!” Jaemin bursts, his words holding the same heat they used to back when their fighting was normal. Only now it makes his heart hurt because he doesn’t really want to yell. He’s just so confused and nervous and unsure of himself. He just wants to know what really happened, if only because it could give him some peace of mind. 

“That’s not possible!” Renjun yells back, hands fisted at his sides. His eyes are watering and Jaemin blinks in surprise. “God, if you’d just showed up at the South Gate like you promised instead of ditching me-” 

“Wait, Renjun-” 

“Then maybe we could have kept being friends, maybe even more! But no, you had to go be an asshole-” 

“Renjun-” 

“And humiliate me by having me wait while everyone walked by and watched, and I can’t believe I still have these dumb feelings for you-” 

“Renjun!” 

Jaemin’s exclamation finally gets Renjun to stop, and he stares, feeling a wetness on his face. When did he start crying? 

“Renjun,” Jaemin says now, voice much softer and eyes shining with unshed tears. “We’re idiots.” 

“What?” 

Now Jaemin is laughing, a few tears falling down his cheeks. Renjun almost frowns, because he doesn’t know what Jaemin is laughing about. There’s nothing to even laugh about in the first place. They were just fighting again a few seconds ago. Renjun was pouring his heart out, they were having a moment! 

“That day, at the carnival?” 

Renjun nods, waiting for Jaemin to continue so he can get this over with. (A teensy, tiny hopeful part of his heart is waiting for something better than his brain expects.) Jaemin wipes at his own eyes and cheeks, the tip of his nose red with the cold and emotion. 

“I was waiting for you at the North Gate.” 

“No,” Renjun half gasps and laughs a little himself, realization dawning on him and a warmth starting to spread through his chest. Jaemin is still laughing, and he joins in just because it’s so absurd. 

“Yeah, I didn’t even know there was a South Gate, otherwise I would have gone looking for you. God, Renjun...” 

“We really are idiots. I would have gone to the North Gate if I hadn’t been so sure you ditched me.” Renjun says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding looking directly at Jaemin’s face. 

“No! I would never,” Jaemin says, wringing his hands together. “I was actually really looking forward to it that day.” He clears his throat and they both fall quiet. This time the tension is replaced with something a little softer, a little more hopeful. Renjun actually feels comfortable standing next to Jaemin under the lamp as the sky continues to grow darker. 

“I was looking forward to it too,” he eventually says, staring at the tops of his shoes. 

“I’m sorry,” The apology comes out of the blue and Renjun looks up, staring at Jaemin who’s cheeks are colored in shame. “For all the horrible stuff I said over the years. I was just...hurt, and angry and that’s not an excuse but those are the reasons.” 

“Hey, Jaemin, wait,” Renjun doesn’t know what makes him do it, but he takes one of Jaemin’s hands from his pocket to hold it, and the younger looks at him hopefully. “I’m sorry too. I did the same exact thing. It’s even a little hard now, you know?” Jaemin hums. “I mean, I don’t want to fight or anything anymore. I never really wanted to in the first place, but it’s kind of all I’ve known.” 

“Like you don’t know how to get used to not fighting?” 

“Yeah...” 

Jaemin squeezes his hand. 

“I think we can figure it out.” 

“You think so?” 

Jaemin grins then, and it’s reassuring enough that Renjun smiles too. 

“I know so.” 

It’s slow, the transition from enemies to friends again to...something more that they haven’t quite found a name for yet. Jaemin’s sure they’ll figure it out once a third thing is added back to their daily routine. Before that, though, they take the time to get to know each other all over again. 

Renjun finds out that Jaemin still has his favorite color memorized, just as Renjun remembers Jaemin’s favorite cartoons from their childhood. 

Sifting through the memories is easier now that the misunderstanding between them has been cleared up. They don’t hurt like they used to thinking about old birthday parties and playdates at the local park. 

_“Remember when you fell off the slide?”_

_“Shut up! I thought we agreed to never speak of it again!”_

After a week of rekindling their old friendship Renjun finds himself brave enough to hold Jaemin’s hand when they walk across campus together. He gets shy when Jaemin grins at him and wiggles his eyebrows, but even as he buries his face into his scarf to hide his face he knows he’d take the embarrassment over their past animosity any day. 

Three weeks go by and final exams are over, bringing with them the biting cold of the winter and a month long break many students are grateful for. 

“Should we talk to him?” Jaemin asks one day. They’re laying in Renjun’s bed like they were a month and a half ago, but this time there’s no Donghyuck to interrupt them and Renjun would actually acknowledge that, yeah, they’re definitely cuddling right now. He tilts his head to look up at Jaemin. 

“I want to...should we?” 

“I want to, too. It’s been long enough, don’t you think?” 

“Mm-hm.” 

They both smile and Jaemin leans forward to brush his nose against Renjun’s cheek. Neither of them have gone anywhere beyhond hand-holding and the occasional peck on the cheek or forehead yet. Again, perhaps waiting for a third person to fill in the empty spaces, because it still doesn’t feel exactly right. Jaemin picks up his phone and sends a message to the boy they’re both thinking of, and when he’s done Renjun takes the phone and puts it on the floor gently before wrestling Jaemin to lay down further. He’s warm and comfortable, and Renjun delights in laying his cheek over Jaemin’s heart. 

“I miss them.” 

“I know.” 

“Do you think I was too harsh on them?” 

His brother pulls him closer until Jeno’s head is resting on his chest instead of his shoulder, and he squeezes his arm gently. 

“No, I think you did the right thing. They have to accept each other before they can work it out with you.” 

“I’m not intruding?” 

“Jeno, they said they liked you, right?” Jeno nods, and the older sighs quietly above him. “Then you’re not intruding. _They want you too_. It’s just going to take some time.” 

“Time sucks.” he says, and the petulance in his voice has Doyoung chuckling. The laughter rumbles in his chest and from where Jeno’s ear is pressed against his heart it finally makes him smile, just a little bit. 

He’s home for break right now. A whole month spend the holidays with his brother and his parents, and his childhood friends who’ve either stuck around or have also returned for break. It’s nice and warm in the house, and Jeno feels so welcome like he always does. He feels a little guilty for being so down, but having Doyoung there with him makes him feel better. Maybe he can get through break without fretting too much about his complicated love life (or lack there-of). And if Jaemin and Renjun decide...if they decide not to reach out, he’ll just accept it an move on, because that’s what sounds best in his head. 

Then his phone vibrates in his lap and he picks it up not a second later. 

“Jeez, I thought we were having a heart-to-heart,” Doyoung says, but he leans over Jeno’s shoulder to look at the screen with him. It’s a text from Jaemin’s phone in their group chat. The one just for the three of them. _We talked_ , it reads. The speech bubble at the bottom of the screen keeps popping up before another message comes through: _Can we meet? - J, R_

“They want to meet up.” he says quietly, already feeling the melancholy from earlier slipping away. His heart beats in his ears and Jeno can’t help the smile stretching across his lips. 

“See, what did I tell you?” His brother kisses his temple before standing up from the couch and ruffling Jeno’s hair. “They want you too. Now message them back this instant and go see your boys.” Flushing at the remark Jeno holds his phone close to him as he starts typing a response. 

“They’re not my boys.” He sends it through before remembering, “Wait, hyung, the university is two hours away.” 

“Oh, shit!” 

They don’t end up meeting together until after winter break, because Jeno’s parents want him to stay home for the holidays and he really did miss his family. That doesn’t mean he, Jaemin and Renjun don’t text though. Every morning he wakes up to a flurry of new messages on his phone, either from the other boys staying up late and talking to each other, or wishing him a good morning from where they’re both staying in the dorms. 

He misses them terribly, but it’s nice to spend some time at home. Jeno gets to eat home-cooked meals and he even saved up enough money to get presents for everyone. He goes with Doyoung to the park and the woods and the pizza parlor on seventh street that has the best breadsticks ever. It’s basically the perfect way for him to recharge and prepare himself for the next semester. And meeting up Jaemin and Renjun again too. 

Jeno doesn’t expect to see them waiting at the entrance of the dorms when he gets there the day before classes start again. 

He turns to his brother and slaps him on the arm, “Did you know about this?” Doyoung just laughs and nods before telling Jeno to get out of the car and _go see them, I’ll take care of getting your stuff into your room_. “Thank you so much, hyung.” Jeno reaches over the armrest to hug Doyoung before shoving his phone into his pocket and scrambling out the passenger door. 

When he runs up to the two he stops in front of them and takes a deep breath. He smiles nervously and looks at both of them, then down to their intertwined hands. 

“Hey...” 

“Hey to you too.” 

Jaemin grins and tugs on his wrist while Renjun looks at him with warm eyes. 

“Let’s go talk? Preferably somewhere warmer, and with less people.” 

Jeno nods, and when he smiles his eyes form into little crescents like they always do when he’s happy. And he is, happy. The library where they decide to go is warm and his left hand is held in Jaemin’s while his right is held by Renjun and the way everything falls into place just feels so _right_ that Jeno can’t help being anything else but _happy_. 

Jaemin and Renjun’s eyes sparkle with the same happiness and Jeno knows now that they’ll work out for the best. One step at a time. 

_**Extra.1** _

“Three-way kiss!” 

“Oh my God, no.” 

“How would that even work?” 

“We just have to- If I-” 

Someone laughs. 

“No, it doesn’t work like that. We’d just end up, like, drooling all over each other.” 

“Double ew.” 

“Then we all just take turns kissing?” 

A thoughtful hum. 

“Yeah, that seems like the best way to do it. Wait, what’s that look for? Stop! We’re in-!” 

One, two, three seconds pass. 

“Wow.” 

“Yeah, wow.” 

“You just kissed me...in front of the bathrooms.” 

“Er, I will admit it’s not the most romantic spot.” 

“You think?” 

“We’ll just have to kiss in more romantic spots then!” 

“Right now?” 

“Right now.” 

“Why do I put up with you?” 

“Why do I put up with the both of you?” 

Laughter, warm and sweet. 

“Let’s go make those kisses happen.” 

_**Extra.2** _

After Jaemin and Renjun realized the true reason behind the whole carnival debacle of eighth grade they decided that between the two of them it was water under the bridge. However, the same could not be said for Donghyuck, who was the one that set up the entire date in the first place and told them to meet at the wrong gates. 

“Mark, save me!” he wails, diving behind the older boy and onto his knees as Jaemin and Renjun try to grab him by the arms. At least Mark as the decency to block them and not throw Donghyuck to the wolves. 

“What did he do?” 

Jaemin crosses his arms and glares at Donghyuck like he’s an offending spot of stain on his t-shirt. Donghyuck cowers on the ground. 

“Everything.” 

“Mister Mark Lee,” says Renjun, regarding Donghyuck similarly. “Did you know that your boyfriend here is the entire reason we started fighting in the first place?” Mark looks down at him and _oh, shit, now he looks angry too_. “You could say he’s also the reason you failed that math test in your senior year because we were arguing so loudly in your lecture that you couldn’t focus.” 

Donghyuck gulps. 

Mark throws him to the wolves, _the little shit_ , and Donghyuck is dragged across campus by both boys, kicking and screaming. 

No one helps him. Ungrateful bastards! 

Halfway through being forced to a secondary location he sees Jeno by the library and yells out to him, “Jeno! Save me!” Jeno is nice. He’ll definitely help him, right? He looks over at Donghyuck, then to Jaemin and Renjun still holding onto him and his mouth forms a little ‘o’ of surprise. Then he smiles and waves, and walks away. 

“Jeno! No, wait!” 

“No one can save you now, Donghyuck.” Renjun says evilly, and the younger boy whimpers. Both Jaemin and Renjun are smiling at him like he’s dinner. 

“You’re ours.” 

“Nooooooo!” 

_**Extra.3** _

“So, the whole reason you guys started fighting in the first place was because of the carnival?” Jeno asks, looking at the painting in front of him on the wall, and then to the two boys standing on both his sides. 

“Well, not the carnival itself.” 

“I thought Jaemin ditched me because I waited at the South Gate.” 

“And I was at the North Gate.” 

Jeno hums and nods, eyes slipping from the painting of the carnival the next ones on the wall. He’s glad Jaemin and Renjun decided to share their past with him since he obviously wasn’t there to experience it. It makes him feel welcome and included in the relationship they're all still trying to figure out. He's pretty sure they'll get there. 

Eventually he smiles and turns around to face them. 

“Thank you. For telling me.” 

“Of course.” Jaemin grins and wraps an arm around his shoulder, pressing a quick kiss to Jeno’s cheek and causing the older boy to laugh. Renjun watches them with warm eyes. 

“And thanks for showing me your paintings, Renjun. I love them.” 

The older boy flushes at the compliment, coughing and looking away. Jeno just smiles and holds his arms out until the older boy steps forward and he can hold onto his arm. Jeno doesn’t kiss cheeks like Jaemin or give hugs like Renjun, but he likes holding hands and squeezes Renjun’s gently. It makes him feel connected. 

“By the way,” Renjun says, letting go after squeezing Jeno’s hand back. “I actually have one more painting I want to include in the collection.” 

“Another one? Of what?” 

The oldest of the three opens his messenger bag and pulls out his sketchbook. He flips through the pages and finds the one he’s looking for, and when he turns the book to the other two boys he looks away again. On the page before them is a plain scene to anyone else. A table littered with notes and textbooks, forgotten snacks and water bottles and a phone or two. The longer they look at it the two boys realize the books and items are very specific. Jeno recognizes his business notes and his phone with the pink case, cat charms hanging off it. There’s also Jaemin’s laptop and his eco-friendly water bottle with the dent in the side. The edges of the sketch are blurred on purpose, but before the cut off one can make out three pairs of legs sitting around the table. 

To his left Jeno hears Jaemin sniffle, “Is that us, Jun?” 

“Yeah, I, uh-” 

“That’s so sweet I’m gonna cry!” Jaemin wails, detaching himself from Jeno and flinging his arms around Renjun. Jeno barely manages to catch the sketchbook that he drops and make sure the picture is alright, smiling fondly at the sight of Jaemin pressing his cheek against Renjun’s and crying. Renjun rolls his eyes even though he’s still blushing and pretends to try and push Jaemin off of him. 

That’s when Jeno feels it. 

“I love you guys.” 

It slips out before he can even realize he’s saying it, but he wouldn’t take it back. Not even if the world was ending. Jeno means it, truly, in his heart. 

Jaemin and Renjun freeze and stare at him just seconds after the words leave his lips, and Jeno flushes just as red as them. In fact, all three of them probably look like cherries standing in the middle of the white gallery. Jaemin is the first to do anything, unwrapping one arm from Renjun to wave Jeno over to them. He brings Jeno into a one-sided hug and Jeno feels Renjun’s arm slip around his waist. 

“I love you too,” Jaemin says, grinning with twinkling eyes. “Both of you.” 

“I,” Renjun pauses, clearly not used to such declarations, and laughs when Jaemin playfully elbows him in the side and relents. “I love you guys too.” 

“Wow, I think that’s the first time we said it.” 

“Jaemin, we text it to each other all the time.” 

“Yeah, but the first time we said it out loud! It made me feel all warm and tingly.” 

“Warm and tingly?” Jeno laughs. 

“Yeah, like when you and Renjun do that thing with your-” 

“Okay!” Renjun covers Jaemin’s mouth with his hand and takes his sketchbook back from Jeno. “Not in the middle of the gallery, Jaemin. Now that we’ve all established that we love each other, how about we get some celebratory hot chocolate?” 

“Sounds good to me.” 

“Mm-mm-hm-muh-hm-mm.” 

Renjun uncovers Jaemin’s mouth, “What?” 

“I want coffee!” 

“Of course you do.” he sighs, and then smirks. “Last one there pays for all three!” He takes off running, and not a moment later does Jaemin sprint after him. 

“As if you could outrun me! I’m the sportsman here!” 

Jeno just chuckles to himself and pushes his hands into his coat pockets as he steps outside the gallery. Both Renjun and Jaemin are already halfway across campus as he takes his time walking behind them, knowing that even when he gets there last he’ll be able to convince one of them to pay instead. He looks up at the sky just in time to see the first few snowflakes of the evening fall, and breathes in deeply, feeling loved. 

**Author's Note:**

> And we've reached the end. Where do I even begin? I joined 00FF on a whim because my friend told me I should (thank you, Kayden!) even though I hadn't written or published any fanfiction in well over a year or two. I was worried, a little bit afraid and wholly doubted I would make it to the end...but here we are! With a finished story, not to mention the longest published work I've ever written! It may not be my best (procrastination, school, general muse issues, etc.), but I really put my best effort into finishing the story and making a product I'm 80% happy with. I couldn't have done it without some help though.
> 
> So thank you to my beta Zoo for putting up with my inconsistent schedule and turning Jaemin into a biochem major! Thank you for fixing my spelling and grammar mistakes, and responding so quickly whenever I messaged you. You helped a lot. 
> 
> Thank you to my friends for all their support! I couldn't have done this without Nush, Pallu and Kayden reassuring me that my writing is never as bad as I think it is. They haven't even read this yet (and maybe never will), but without them I would have quit halfway through when the going got tough. The same can be said for all my new friends I've made through 00FF! I won't be naming names because I don't want to forget to mention anyone, and my memory is shit, but if we met through the 00FF server or just somewhere on Twitter I want you to know that I love and appreciate you!
> 
> Also thanks to my best friend Sarah and my sister for reading this even though they didn't have to. It really helped me feel better about the story and not consider it a flaming pile of words just thrown together. Your ideas helped me finish this and I'm so grateful!
> 
> Thank you to admin Tea as well for running such a well put-together and engaging fic fest! I'm so happy that 00FF was my very first fic fest ever, and I've made so many great memories along the way. 
> 
> Last but not least, I want to thank the prompter for having this story idea in the first place. It was a lot of fun to write no matter how frustrated, sad or angry it made me (at myself lol not you or the prompt). I'm still going to apologize for slacking on some parts of it (like the side characters and such), but I hope their little appearances are enough! I really, really, really hope you like the story that's come out of all this, because at the end of the day my biggest motivation was hoping to bring to life someone else's idea and that they'd be happy with it! (So if I failed, I'm so sorry. sdkfhskh And I hope that at least even just one person will enjoy this.)
> 
> That's all I have to say about that (wow, do I ever shut up?) but I'm going to part with one last thank you to all of you readers. I hope this story made you feel something and that you enjoyed it, and if you didn't then I'll try my best to make the next one meet that goal!
> 
> Love, Jewel
> 
> P.S. - This will most likely be rewritten / edited once more in the future so if you come back to read it again and it's changed then that's why! lmao ♡


End file.
